5 Things Formerly-Alienated Parents Did to Reunite with Their Children

Ahhhhh.... reunification. Something many parents sadly feel is out of their reach. This post is to assure you that it is not (if you take the right action, of course). So, follow along...

Dorcy has worked with countless families over the years. Whether through her courses, her personal coaching and consulting, or through training coaches, she has helped many parents reunite with their children. We even have parents share their reunification success from Dorcy's videos and online content, alone. Whether in court or not, whether minor children or adults, whether a court-ordered workshop or simply on their own as a parent, she has had the pleasure of guiding parents through this reunification process that many fear is impossible for them. And, here are 5 things they all have in common:

1. They took responsibility where necessary, and not where it's not

This is a hard one for many parents. We must take responsibility for our lives, because that is the only way we can make changes in our lives. Be accountable for what is true-- in any amount, and on the other side of the same coin, do not take responsibility for something you simply did not do. We want our children to know we can recognize our own faults, empathize with them, and yet also not contribute to any delusions or false narratives. Instead, use critical thinking questions to engage the accusations. Don't become defensive and always show that you care for them amidst accusations.

2. They continued to show up

Despite any wishes from the child to not go to events, sports, etc or not to text them or send gifts, they did so anyway. And no, it doesn't mean they went first row and waved signs and banners to cheer on their child. They went to simply be there and show the child they care, and this is especially the case if the allegation is that the parent never did go to events/sports/etc, even though they did. The last thing you want to do is then reenforce the false narrative. 

3. They released negative feelings/emotions towards child

Oftentimes parents end up feeling resentful and angry with their child. They feel that as they get older, the child should know better. That they need to open their eyes and stop behaving the way they are. Unfortunately this behavior will 100% keep the child at bay. Cutoff parents must place full empathy onto the child for the situation they are in and understand that no matter how old they are, it doesn't mean they should 'know any better,' in fact it would be the opposite the more time goes on. Reunited parents also took back their power as parent and found the boundary. Parental unconditional love means without bounds, and it means embracing your role as that parent. We love our children no matter what, even if they are rejecting. Being unconditionally loving keeps the door open for reunification, and this is exactly what reunited parents maintained for their child. 

4. They acknowledged they needed support

Being human is knowing we are imperfect. And, humans who want to become better, more conscious versions of themselves, and who want to learn and grow over time, know that there is no 'ceiling' for the work. There is always work to be done. The same applies with parenting, and especially when there is a parent-child cutoff. Formerly-alienated parents sought out the support they knew they needed and lacked knowledge in. They knew that they must invest in the support themselves, or no one will. That it is their child(ren) that is at stake. They released all barriers to reunification. 

5. They never gave up (including post reunification...)

Reunited parents never gave up on their child. They knew the relationship they once had, they knew what they were subjected to, they knew the damage a false narrative have caused on the child, and they knew that they had to stay the course for the sake of their child. They knew that it would be possible, and so they made it so. This also included continuing the work after reuniting, that things do not just magically become butterflies and rainbows. They still are working on repairing the relationship, so they continue to learn and implement the skills. Oftentimes they may work on Higher Purpose Parenting again, or go deeper within with Higher Purpose Mastery.

When it comes down to it, while each family will be slightly different when there is a parent-child cutoff, these are the top 5 things each formerly-alienated parent did to reunite per the guidance of Dorcy's expertise. If you want to get on the path of reunited parents, contact Dorcy's team today.