Do I get asked what do I do when my child has been alienated from me? I still get them on my parenting time however they are horrible to me, constantly on the phone with their other parent, and they destroying my things and my home. When I ask my children to put their cell phones down or away, they scream at me and tell me it is illegal for me to take their phones or to tell them what to do with their phones, they have a right to talk with their other parent, whenever they want. My children never behaved this way prior to our divorce and progressively, over the past couple of months, they have turned into animals. Just yesterday my 13-year-old daughter said to me, “Why don’t you just give up? You are never going to win in court, you never have and you never will. I hate you”
HELP! What do I do?
Well, you have come to the right place, The first thing to do is, of course, take a deep breath, and know that she really does not hate you. When we look at this clients question we can see that there are a couple of problems she is trying to solve.
1. Her children’s rude behavior towards her and her property and
2. the constant contact from the favored parent. I will address both issues separately.
When you are dealing with an alienated child, all normal parenting goes right out the window. trying to convince them they are wrong, that they have been coached and even trying to defend yourself does not work.
So let’s address her first issue and then her second.
1. When your alienated child is out of control and they make bold statements like what is happening in court, simply say to them, “I can see that you are upset, I want you to know that no matter what happens or how you behave I will always love you. I do want you to understand that I may not be perfect all the time, I will always do what I feel is in your best interest. When you behave the way you are behaving, it reflects poorly on your (dad or mom) and could actually get them in trouble with the judge, in court. I know you do not want your other parent to get into trouble. I can’t control your behavior only you can, you can decide to behave appropriately or not. Whatever you chose I will always love you.”
Now here is the tricky part. BE QUIET. No more responding, explaining and pleading. Simply speak your peace and move on. Alienated children will do whatever it takes to protect the favored parent. This is counter-intuitive but it works.
If it does not work the first time repeat and then does the alternative, which, works like magic is to simply, not respond. This is also counter-intuitive. We are always trying to teach our children right from wrong and the appropriate way to treat other people. In a normal situation that works, however with alienated children you are in a whole different ballgame.
2. What do you do when the child is in constant communication with the other parent and won’t give up their phone? I see rejected parents constantly afraid of what would happen if they actually parented, this happens mainly because most parents swing from permissive parenting style to authoritarian parenting styles out of fear and frustration. Stop the madness, by sitting the children down and having “your attorney” speak to your children and explain to them, via the speaker phone, they are to give you their cell phones and that you will be keeping them for the duration of their time with you and they will get them back at the time they will be returning to the other parents home. Have you attorney explain to them that, the court has ordered the parenting time and that time is to be spent with the parent uninterrupted so that they have the opportunity to spend time with each parent. Have your attorney explain that they are not in trouble and they can call their other parent, from your cell phone or the house phone, if they need to speak to the other parent and have your attorney say to the children, “now please hand your phones over to your mom/dad now, it is important to comply with the court orders so that your other parent does not get into trouble with the judge. POWERFUL! and it works.
Now some of you may be thinking, “I was told not to talk to the kids about what happens in court, or about the fact that we are in court, well under normal circumstances, I would agree, however, these children already know about court, and they have most likely heard a very skewed version of what the other parent wants them to believe. As you read these children told their mother to give up and she was going to lose in court like she always does.
Armed with these tools, you can restore calm in your home and give your children the opportunity to relax and have fun with you, without the constant barrage of text messages and phone calls from the favored parent, which keeps the child, unstable. The cell phone is the favored parent’s new weapon, it is time to be bold, firm, and loving. Using these methods gives your children the opportunity to be children and they can’t be children if they are constantly under fire (attack) from the favored parent who will not give them a break.
Remember, you are also their parent. Traditional parenting styles do not work, while the child is under the influence of alienation, and so you must arm yourself with new conscious ways of being a parent so that you can empower your children to be the best people they can be in the world.
Try it and see what happens. Post a comment or ask your own question, let me know how it worked out for you.
Create an AMAZING day!
Dorcy
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But what do you do when the children won’t even communicate? These are my husband’s children, ages 8 and 14. They won’t make eye contact. They routinely refuse to answer questions or sometimes even acknowledge that they are being spoken to. They refuse to come into our house, although they won’t give any reason as to why, and will insist on only sitting on our front porch. They refuse all attempts to take them anywhere fun or do anything fun (movies, playing games, amusement parks, etc.) to try to create a positive experience – their mother has told them that movie theaters are too loud and will damage their hearing, and that amusement parks are full of germs and that there’s nothing there kids their age would enjoy. All they will accept is to be fed at a restaurant or if a gift is being bought for them. They’ve made it clear they’d rather not come at all, but that they know the court will make them. Visits are long, dreary, and mostly silent, although we try very hard to draw them out. They will occasionally lighten up briefly, but then always revert quickly to not interacting. They are also homeschooled and kept very isolated, so even things we can ask about in their lives are very limited. Everyone tells me, “Make it fun when they’re with you, so they’ll see the alienating things they’re being told aren’t true,” but how can you do that, when they refuse to interact or do anything fun?
I’m in the same boat. If you had any success from good advice, I’d be interested in learning.
You can check out our testimonials page. https://consciouscoparentinginstitute.com/testimonials/
This is also what is happening to me.
This is my question.
I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this. Don't give up. Pray over them and ask God to heal the relationship. Family therapy also would be something you could try.
This is playing with fire. Yes, you can abuse the attorney privilege as such however the same game may be played by the other parent’s attorney so that removal of the phone is not allowed. This holds especially true when the alienating parent has full custody and the targeted parent has no parental rights (ie is not allowed to determine anything in the child’s best interest including restricting any form of communication from the other parent, whom usually has false allegations of abuse further arguing the immediate need for a phone to “make sure the child is safe”).
Also, you must keep in mind that the parent who purchased and pays the cell phone bills ultimately has the legal right to do as he/she pleases. If this is you, you are in luck and may purchase a plan that blocks all calls/texts from the other parent. If not then you will not have much choice other than an attempt to unwillingly confiscate the kids’ phones. But be prepared to be attacked legally!
Thank you for educating us those positive responses with the kids. I really could use them to help with our circumstance. What do I do and say when my 13 years old son being totally alienated me, keeps hiding in his room and locking up the door, demanding for privacy, refuse to go out or come out to eat, and yelling to leave him alone…
I’m his mother and we had a great relationship up to about 6 months ago….
can you tell me how you are doing now? Im going through the same thing right now.
Have been reading this thread and saw your post. Wondering if you had any suggestions of what to do? Our 11 yr old grandson behaves exactly the same way – and refuses to go anywhere or do anything fun while with his Dad (our son) or with us. It makes it esp hard for his little sister (6 yrs old) who loves being with her Dad and with us… it’s like we’re sort of held hostage, stuck in the house because he is so rude and defiant – locked up in his room. Soooo hard to know how to respond! His Mother gave him a watch with a phone so he can call her anytime and “report” what’s going on at his Dad’s. It is so sad…
I am going through the same thing. It breaks your soul.
My younger son, 14 at the time, was threatening to not come over any more, a year after my older son quit coming. I used this with him in the car when I picked him up one day. He had been refusing to even look out the front window of the car, only out the passenger window. I stopped the car and got genuine concern in my voice and told him that I didn’t want anyone to get in trouble with the judge (he had already been told about a custody court case), including his other parent, and that we had a signed agreement that the judge had approved and that we could all get in trouble if we didn’t go by it. He stopped saying anything and never brought it up again. I think the thing about not wanting to get his other parent in trouble was a key to helping him follow the rules. Two years later and we’ve never had a problem with it since.
I like what your’ve written. I will be trying these tactics. I am in the same boat.
I am the mother of a parent who actually abuses our child and psychologically, financially, mentally, emotionally abuses me with incessant lawsuits. Though I didn't learn of the abuse he was doing to our child until this past summer; in hindsight I realized our child had been trying to tell me about being harmed, but he always blamed it on the school or other children. I finally put the pieces together when I saw the pattern of lawsuits always coincided with me going after the school for someone pushing him down the stairs, having hand prints on his legs or arms, bumps on his head were because of my ex, who would refuse to communicate with me and has made parenting exceptionally difficult on me, but more on our son because he's going to 3 loctions a week (e.g. mis dads home, school, afterschool) so because he's an attorney with tons of money, his parental alienation along with neglect and abuse has caused my child (mentally Ive revoked his father card after seeing my child relive trauma that was occuring over there) and started getting our son help only to have his unethical attorney call every doctor behind my back stating I was in yet another custody suit, which I wasn't served or notified until 4 months of my child telling cops, doctors, ER, the psychiatric hospital, his father that he didn't feel safe living with him only for my ex to run up to the courthouse and sue me for abuse? It was that same month he decided to sign the birth certificate. So I now get supervised visitations because my attorney refused to hand over the doctors records, the video of his trauma and the police records of his suicidal ideations due to his fathers abuse along with his attorney aiding and abetting in a child abuse case, where they gave the CPS lady falsified documents! He's now currently cyberstalking me and has my phone calls going to HIS device, my emails, has stolen my entire 11.5 years of memories with my child, has wiped out 7 computers, 9 phones to have this video deleted so the ammicus and psychiatrist not see it! Ive heard of mothers doing this type of insane type of parental alienation, but I feel like I'm the only mother that can share the pain of fathers who are often victims of parental alienation. The justice system needs to stop relying on outdated laws and really consider this as a form of domestic violence. Parental alienation is an understatement. But regardless of his little hired group of crimminals, I still show up to visitations and just take that time to nurture and love the heck out of my cchild. He isn't interested in gifts or toys at this point, he's in need of mental support to cope with his trauma so we draw together, make things together, I give him tons of hugs and kisses and forget that there is literally a person 4 feet away from us at all time to which they always say Youre a really great mom, why are you here? Ask the judge? She seemed ripping a child from a 10.5 year old routine while copingvwith severe trauma was the best move. The laws aren't created to help families, they only help cause more problems I find. I want more parents like us to gather together to change the law instead of sitting around and talking about it. Its time for the family courts to change and in order to do that, we should unite and create a petition. That's my 2 cents on the matter.
Oh my dear woman I am grieving for u. My heart hurts reading this. Puts my situation in perspective. All though I have had the supervised visits when I did nothing to ever hurt my kids. I'm still fighting 6 yrs later. I don't know when this was written but I hope things r better for u. What keeps me going is knowing one day they will be old enough to be with me and we will have decades of life together. I agree things need to change and only we can do it. No one else seems .to care until they go through it. I hope your son finds. Healing in your love. Love is the most powerful energy in the universe and it does wonders.
Wow! This is very very similar to my battle. I’m ready to take action. Maybe we can pull together a civil action movement. I’m a strong woman and I’m fighting the incorrect way. And I’m fighting alone as well. I’m tired of sitting back complaining about this.
I am so sorry and in shock that another human being is going through what I have experienced and continue to experience. The court system is not equipped I was denied an order of protection and child protection even though my son had brushes because he said I was the abuser. 7 months later the judge awarded me custody thoisands of dollars but he made a video and shared on Facebook got fired from my job because he put I was a child abuser and I work as a pediatric nurse. People wake up from nightmares but when your living one it's feels like sleep is a dream. Praying for you
There are always two sides of a story….
There are a multitude of factors to why a newly teenage child displays unpleasing behaviors to their parents. Just the fact that they are trying to make sense of the divorce and the new family shift is enough to set off a hormonal preteen/teen. Yes, they can be coached and adopt incredibly harsh language that has been modeled by one parent, however, they are self reporting, and that’s tricky on its own. If they are inserting themselves into court and custody discussions and you disapprove this behavior, why would one do the same on their end? And bringing in a lawyer, one of the very figures that symbolizes the act of their family’s separation, can have many emotional implications down the line. It solves the parent’s problem, a desire to have physically and emotionally present children during the designated time allotted, but is that really what the child is trying to communicate behind the behavior? Are they only talking to their other parent or talking to friends as well? Why would one protest communication with their other parent if that’s a component to the primary alienation concern? Because most likely it’s apparent from the child’s view that you’re trying to alienate them, which they may self report and the cycle continues.
THIS! But the parent doing the isolating is so damaging she is self harming & suicidal. She was happy & had straight A's in Gifted & Talented, after the parent returned (from abandoning her) she kept her out of school so she was kicked out & barely finished the school year. Dad has given up; although he has primary custody & legally she only has her every other weekend, Dad has given up, as mentioned in the article.
She stayed in her room & wouldn't interact with the family, as the parent above stated. . .she told her therapist she feels suicidal at Dad's, but cut herself at Mom's where she had to enter in-patient hospital.
Thank you for this post, I am currently trying my hardest to keep my 3 boys ( ages 16, 141/2 and 13) communication open with me but it's less each day..After 3 years of supervised one day (aprox 3 hours) a week I am struggling to keep the bond we once had. If I try to "parent" them especially thru text, it seems all communication stops. My life revolved around my children for 13 years while their father worked 15 hours a day. Out of the blue I'm arrested for DV and carted off to jail because my husband feels I'm a threat and is scared for his life. Woke up in a jail cell Feb 18th 2015 only knowing one phone number off hand, his… I got out on that Sun late afternoon ( thanks to my coworker at the hospital where I worked) and was told to lay low by an attorney who wanted me in his office that Tues after. By this time my husband had a TPO ( without injury, proof, past history, clean record) the courts approved it and added our 3 boys to it.
Going back a couple months prior to this incident..I had been told by a family friend in secret that my husband was working with his attorney on how to change his will and was not including me in it. All I knew about our finances was what my husband told me, and I didn't care because we were a team and I was thankful to be his wife. He gave me a monthly allowance which had to be spent on groceries and things our kids needed. I spent my days having picnics with my kids, play dates, library story times, preschool and swimming which was perfect in my eyes. …Now it's gone, everything, my kids, houses, cars, friends, family, myself…Gone because he took it all and left me out to fail.
Now moving forward in 2017 I found his hidden places where he stashed the millions of dollars made during our marriage. I found at least 4 million so I'm betting it's double that. Here I am 2021 depressed, confused, lost, kid less and alone because he played the game of life better than I did. I've tried every resource I could find for advice, numbers to call..etc and have gotten NOTHING.
But again I'm thankful for your post so I can accept my loss and try to keep ahold of the little bit I have left..until it's gone.
Mia, thank you for sharing your story. It is hard. We, women (actually I think all human beings) identify ourselves primarily by the roles of mothers, wives, business women, employees, employers, friends, sisters etc – the roles we play in the game of our life.
What gave me more peace is really getting that these roles are just that, roles outside of ourselves. Roles that can easily be taken away or changes. Because they are just that, roles we play. When I got it in my core that who I am is not the roles that I identify as "I Am" but a limitless, infinite divine, spiritual being living this life experience, it saved my sanity and gave me peace.
The biggest gift I discovered in my situation (which is going on now) of loosing first my business (of 13 years) to my ex, then all of the income (going from financial freedom to poverty), then after I rebuilt my financial life, I have now loost relationship with my beloved daughters (12, 14) to my ex-s alienation because he now needs to move away to another state and wants 100% custody. I have not seen my girls for now 6 months, and no communication from them at all. Now I am dealing with betrayals by people I trusted and who were very close to me.
What have saved my sanity through it all is finding a spiritual connection with the Divine within. If you are religious is helps, I was never into religion. But I did discover an inner spirituality and started to identify myself as a divine being born to have a human experience with all of the lessons to learn. It gave me a new perspective. Maybe a little more detached perspective.
There is a book I found on youtube, The Game of life and how to play it, and somehow after I have been listening to it on youtube, read by a woman with very soothing voice, it somehow help me find inner peace and perspective on all of it.
What we are dealing with, is unreal. Comparing to all of the hardships in my life, PA tops them all. Yet, through it all, I am starting to feel more strength, resilience, inner peace. I am finding myself laughing now (and crying too), I started writing songs, doing art and other ways to heal myself.
Because, while I love my daughters, I am not my children. While I am experiencing pain, I am not weak and feeble, I am a power to recon with. And I trust in higher wisdom and infinite divine love within me and all of us, that all will harmonize to the love. In the perfect time that it does.
Blessings and love to you, Mia and every parent who has lived or is living through this ordeal
I loved the response you gave to this post. I found it very helpful & found some encouraging words & comfort in it. I thought I had learned about hardship, challenges, losses & grief until I became a mom and a few years later the victim of the ongoing, insidious, manipulative & abusive alienating tactics slowly programmed into my daughter to devalue, dismiss, distort reality, demean and delete me from her life. All while feeling rather powerless to address it, protect my daughter & prevent what I saw happening. At least the CPS, lawyers & police I spoke with had enough knowledge of PA to advise me that any action against the abuser can often create bigger problems for myself, my child & end up with a result that actually aid him in his quest for total control. And ultimately speed up the alienation from me. It has been an ongoing struggled to try to deal with his narcissistic control & trying to navigate the pain, not react to my childs increasing rejection of me & not lose my mind. 15 yrs of trying to reverse the damage he's created & psychological damage he's doing to his daughter. Some days Im strong and cope well. Many days I dont. I cant comprehend how someone can do this so covertly that to anyone else he looks like father of the year. And theres little you can say or do, without appearing to be engaging in the same behavior as the alienator. I left my ex when my daughter was 3 and shes 18 now. Im on the cliff awaiting total rejection & zero communication. I pray she will discover the truth & be able to work thru the damage he has caused.
I am so sorry Mia! This is a growing problem. Family law is corrupt because it is governed by emotions and money. I have two friends who have gone through your exact situation. One friend was hoping that her son would realize all that she sacrificed for him, but the parental alienation totally destroyed their relationship. The other friend did finally get weekly visits, after four years and thousands in legal fees….not to mention the toll on her physically and emotionally. These women were devoted, loving mothers, yet their wealthy husbands were able to get the courts to deem them mentally ill and a danger to their children. Both of their husbands were professionals who were hardly ever home. They both wanted their wives to get abortions, yet when they left with other women, they somehow couldn't live without their children. Children, they didn't even know how to care for.
Oh my I am sickened by these husbands who have it in them to destroy the bond between the mother and her children. Lives significantly ruined and for what, money, new wives, selfish reasons. They don't seem to be capable of putting themselves in the shoes of thee kids and thee mom. To cause such devastation such torment that never goes away even if things better better we r forever reminded of what we lost that we can never get back. The injustice the suffering the traumas. I don't get it. I can only hope that karma is real and love is stronger than hate. I'm Soo sorry.
My child is currently being alienated from me I haven’t spoken to her since after Easter or seen her. I’m waiting for court which keeps getting pushed off as the dad is in jail and his parents have my daughter I’m blocked from all phones and they’ve even taken her out of school but school says there hasn’t been any transfer requests to another school. I can leave a voicemail and hope she listens to it. I do leave voice mails telling her things she could do with me if she would just call me back. I tell her I miss her and love her. I often leave small packages for her on the door steps since they won’t answer the doors either. What message can I leave to get her to call me? Please help me she just turned 12 august and no parent around. My heart hurts I’m a good mom and I work with kids. Thank you
I remarried about 18 months ago. I had previously been married for 31 years before my husband passed away. We now have a blended family of 12 children. My children love their new step-dad. He is a marvelous man.
Unfortunately, his ex-wife was constantly creating problems with the children's visitation. She even called the police and reported that he had kidnapped them. He was arrested, in front of his then 5 and 2-year-old. Her allegations also included sexual abuse. His daughter had to undergo four different pelvic examinations over the course of 18 months because his ex-wife was trying to take the children away. His daughter repeatedly told her doctor that her father was innocent and of course there was no evidence. His ex-wife would refuse to honor the court and he got tired of the constant fight. He was alone for every holiday. His children would refuse to come sleepover as granted by the court. Eventually, his son stopped coming even for his weeknight visit.
Fast forward 12 years. His ex-wife died last October. His son and daughter had been living with the grandparents off and on since the divorce. The grandparents tried to take the children, then 17 and 14. My husband of course won custody, however, the children have been so difficult. His daughter calls him by his name, or sperm donor. They won't keep any rules, do any chores. My step-son is very rude to my children. He won't talk to any of us. When I have asked him to do his chores he has told me to go F#@% myself. My stepdaughter actually treats us well but is very disrespectful to her father. I have told her that her behavior towards him isn't acceptable and she is doing better. But, you can tell by her comments towards her father, that she does not value him.
They both told him that they didn't want to live with him, that they wanted to live with their real family. He was not their family. My husband has wanted his children for so long. He was the parent that took care of them prior to the divorce. His ex-wife would disappear and go party. She was not a good mother. Prior to the divorce his mother-in-law even told him on many occasions that he was both mother and father to his children. His ex-wife knew how much he loved them. When she ran off with another man, he was upset. But when she literally stole his children, he was devastated.
When his ex-wife died, he finally thought he would get them back. I warned him that because of the alienation and brainwashing they would not be open to a relationship with him.
I am so frustrated. I don't know what to do. My husband is afraid to enforce any rules. His children are above helping. My children resent them and are beginning to resent their step-dad. My children love him! He is so good with them! He is a natural father, yet he is totally afraid to be a father to his own children. He knows what he expects from my children: school, chores, rules, and behavior, should be enforced equally with his children. But, my husband is so afraid of his children retaliating against him, accusing him of abuse to authorities, harming one of us, or destroying our property, or harming themselves, that he ignores their behavior. He says he is afraid of pushing them too hard.
I have gotten to the point that I can't stand even being in the same room with them. My children are angry, they hate being around them. It has totally changed our family dynamics. It is horrible to not feel comfortable in your own home. I have talked with my husband many times. He has tried to take them to counseling, but he has never brought up the parental alienation with the counselor. My husband was getting them bereavement counseling for losing their mother. His son only went once and refused to go again.
I have a son the same age as my stepson and it is really affecting my relationship with my son. He has become withdrawn. I keep trying to talk to him about his step-brother, but he says he is fine and doesn't care. But my other children have told me that he complains to them. I think he is afraid to talk to me because it might upset his stepfather.
My husband keeps saying that his son will have to move out at 18. But his daughter turned 18 and immediately moved out to live with her boyfriend. Of course, she was back a few months later. She complained the whole time she was with us and then moved out again with her grandparents. Her aunts then kicked her out because of her lifestyle, smoking, drinking, drugs etc. She of course then wanted to move back in with us, and my husband said yes. She is now staying with another aunt in Germany for three months. I know she will be back, even though my husband told me that he won't let her live here if she is breaking the law. I frankly know he will give in to her manipulations. I feel I have lost my husband, home and family. They were taken away from a woman I never knew.
Do you know what resources there are for families in our situation? If I begin to look for counselors, what questions should I be asking to ensure they understand what I am dealing with? Where can my husband and I go to learn how to deal with our children? What can I do as their stepmother to help them understand how to behave within our home and family?
Thank you for your help. I have enjoyed your article and hope to hear from you soon.
My 13 year old daughter …..Went from this, “ I can’t come today I have to work on a project that is due tmr and I have to do a lot a homework .” I replied,”Love You Mauh” she answered “Love you ❤️“ …. To seven weeks later ….. Zero contact and …..” Sorry I don’t want to go over to your house I don’t like it over there. I also just want to have a social life with my friends and be happy and not be depressed all alone in a small room that is 1,000 decrees. I also do not like seeing you. I don’t think your the greatest person to me nor the greatest father to me. So in that’s case
please stop texting , please stop calling, and please stop bugging my mom. “
My daughter received physiological therapy for anxiety for many years this was used to prevent access with the sole aim to break all bonds with the there father me . My son chose not attend and stopped communicating . This caused a negative reaction from the therapist
As non custodial parent all you can do you
be patient
THIS! But the parent doing the isolating is so damaging she is self harming & suicidal. She was happy & had straight A's in Gifted & Talented, after the parent returned (from abandoning her) she kept her out of school so she was kicked out & barely finished the school year. Dad has given up; although he has primary custody & legally she only has her every other weekend, Dad has given up, as mentioned in the article.
She stayed in her room & wouldn't interact with the family, as the parent above stated. . .she told her therapist she feels suicidal at Dad's, but cut herself at Mom's where she had to enter in-patient hospital.
I’m broken hearted that a parental responsibility evaluator acknowledged the alienation taking place by the borderline personality mother and she was still recommended for primary custody. How does one navigate such a failed system and a truly sick and vindictive ex. The child is repeating everything it’s parent has said with no understanding of the consequences. When does the parent who is being alienated be heard or is it never and I lose my own well being
Appreciating the dedication you put into your work.
Many thanks for a remarkable post!
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I appreciate you for sharing this sort of helpful information!
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Keep posting blogs please, very helpful!
Thank you for the significant impact.
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From Colorado! Very helpful blog.
This is great. Do you have more suggestions for how to stop arguing with an alienated child?
Yes, we have another blog post on how to handle fighting wth an alienated child. https://consciouscoparentinginstitute.com/how-to-stop-fighting-with-your-alienated-child-about-everything/
I’m sure this helps a lot of people.
Pretty great post. Thx
Appreciation to my father who shared this blog with me.
I will take advantage of the useful info.
It’s nearly impossible to find experienced people for this dynamic who truly get it
thank you
I can definitely relate and would love your feedback on my situation. Can we connect?
This is a great post.
Do you have more videos?
Yes! We have lots on our site. Specifically, the What Would Dorcy Do series. https://consciouscoparentinginstitute.com/what-would-dorcy-do-series/
I need expertise to solve my family problem. How can we get in touch?
You can contact our team at the link below. We look forward to connecting. https://consciouscoparentinginstitute.com/contact-us/
This was a really helpful article.
I could not refrain from commenting. Very well written!
I enjoy reading through your articles.
This info is invaluable. When will there be more posts?
Yes, we post new blogs roughly every Monday and Thursday.
I let my brother know to explore your work. He’s dealing with this.
I am finding this all really helpful. Your insight has helped me out a lot.
I will be quoting you !
Finally I have found something that helped me.
how do i subscribe for more
Thanks for the tips.
Appreciate this post. I am going to give this a try.
My family members say to read these articles. It has helped me already. many thank
Someone shared your site with me and I’m definitely finding the information helpful so far.
Please keep creating more blogs. I find them to be very helpful in my situation.
I will be sure to bookmark your blog and come back to read more of them. They’ve been helpful.
Thanks for the posts Dorcy.
Thank you for your efforts and work you do to help parents through these challenging times!
Thank you Dorcy, this is what I was looking for! Really been hard for me, but I am now hopeful I can do this.
Between your wit and your videos, I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how
you presented it.
Definitely will recommend this blog. It’s not often that we parents truly ‘know’ what to do in these circumstances.
This post could not be written any better! This has been helpful for me and my child.
I will definitely be quoting you and your work
I’m looking for a specialist or expert in this arena and I think you are it. So far I am liking what I am reading in your blogs. I like your work and would like to get in contact with you. How can I do that?? thx in advance
You can contact our team here at this link! https://consciouscoparentinginstitute.com/contact-us/
Wow, exactly what I was looking for!
This is helpful thank you- I am always at a loss as to what to do when my child acts out on my time. I am grateful I get parenting time however it’s like I have none. It’s very difficult and stressful and I struggle with parenting my child when he behaves like this.
I thought it was just me dealing with this. This has been really helpful not only me for me but i’m sure other parents out there as well.
It’s like you read my mind. You understand so much about this family unit, I appreciate your help for us parents.
Thank you for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I look forward to each week’s blog post.
Where can I find more help for this specifically? I’m dealing with a highconflict coparent and don’t see us being able to actually coparent.
Here is a blog post on co-parenting with a high-conflict parent! https://consciouscoparentinginstitute.com/3-ways-to-ease-a-high-conflict-co-parenting-dynamic/
Its like you read my mind!
This is what my brother is going through. He always knew something else was going on. I’ll forward this article to him.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for all the work you do. My alienated child has been so rude to me or not even speak at all. this is helpful to know how to handle him better i’ll admit there are times I didn’t respond well to his behavior.
Do you have more blogs like this?
We do! Here is one for reference: https://consciouscoparentinginstitute.com/5-ways-to-critically-engage-with-your-child/
Thanks for your marvelous words! I will make sure to bookmark your blog to lookout for more.
Please continue your great work for parents. thank you
I found exactly what I used to be looking
for. You’ve ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you.
Have a great day. Bye
Do you have any videos? I’d love to learn more about handling our kids when they behave alienated.
Dorcy has a YouTube video on best practices to help your kids through divorce. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1xqfDEvES8&t=4s
My spouse and I stumbled over here through a different page and thought I might out your work.
I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to checking out
your site repeatedly.
This is impossible. Most of the people at the same time do not realise that relieving strain in kids leads to alleviated tension in the family
I am truly at all times trying to remain up to date regarding alienation, parents who reunite, etc. I feel like it is ever changing. what are your thoughts?
this is a great article for parents like me.
I’ve had a hard time knowing what to do with my child during my parenting time. I even at times send him back to his dad’s. I know this is probably what he wants but i dont know how else to handle him. this has been helpful- knowing there are some things i can do but also that i am not the only parent dealing with this.
This is really poor advice.. you are bringing the children into the court/legal process which is one of the areas specifically called out in the statues as "not in the children's best interests" it will be used against you in court and the alienating parent could get even more timesharing.. the only option is to fight in court and have plenty of data / examples of the alienation with multiple psychological professionals backing it up, including the recommendations needed to change it. In my opinion after more than 11 yrs and 9 contempt motions.. the only solution is to go for Sole Parental Responsibility with no contact from the alienating parent and getting an order in writing that allows for police intervention should the alienating parent take the child.. the police usually will not enforce custody orders without that very specific language
Letting the child know what the court-ordered parameters are of the family dynamic is not involving them in legal matters. It is the same thing as letting them know what the schedule is, the one the Court ordered. Of course they need to know what the parenting schedule is like, for example they are with mom one week and dad the next. The difference lies in what is shared with the child about court, specifically conflict regarding legal matters (e.g., ‘your mom/dad is taking me to court to get more money’ Or, ‘i have to spend thousands on legal fees because your mom/dad is withholding my custodial time and now I don’t have money to buy you new toys’) but not what the Order states about what the parenting time/parameters are. So, if a child is texting their other parent continuously on your time, it is not involving them in conflict to let them know that they court ordered this particular parenting schedule, and for it not to be spent on their phone.
Your competence speaks wonders. It’s been helpful to read your blogs each week.
Yes! Finally something helpful.
You possess a flair for revealing things in a method that is actually
effective. Thank you for discussing your know-how.
I’ve researched a lot on how to talk to alienated kids but i’ve never had any success with their guidance. Yours on the other hand, works. Definitely not easy though lol but thank you.
but what if they just isolate themselves? Then you can’t implement any of this.
Hi Sheena, that is a different topic. If they completely isolate themselves, that is a different set of guidance. One where you will have to dig deeper into the dynamic between you and your child. We have another blog for this. https://consciouscoparentinginstitute.com/help-my-child-is-acting-out-on-my-parenting-time/
Thanks, this is pretty motivating actually. i have to admit that I submit to my child because i really don’t know what I am doing. I will try things differently this time with your tips here.
My brother recommended I should read this blog. New here, and this has been incredibly eye opening.
The practical ideas you supplied are actually most likely to be
tremendously handy. I’ll be actually implementing them soon.
Your blog never ever stops to encourage me. Thank you, dorcy.
Your strategy to this topic is so different from others and actually makes sense. thank you and I look forward to receiving your emails and other blogs.