5 Things Formerly-Alienated Parents Did to Reunite with Their Children

Ahhhhh.... reunification. Something many parents sadly feel is out of their reach. This post is to assure you that it is not (if you take the right action, of course). So, follow along...

Dorcy has worked with countless families over the years. Whether through her courses, her personal coaching and consulting, or through training coaches, she has helped many parents reunite with their children. We even have parents share their reunification success from Dorcy's videos and online content, alone. Whether in court or not, whether minor children or adults, whether a court-ordered workshop or simply on their own as a parent, she has had the pleasure of guiding parents through this reunification process that many fear is impossible for them. And, here are 5 things they all have in common:

1. They took responsibility where necessary, and not where it's not

This is a hard one for many parents. We must take responsibility for our lives, because that is the only way we can make changes in our lives. It doesn't mean you are responsible for the alienation occurring. It means you take responsibility for the role you play in the relationship, so that if there is anything you can improve upon, you do so. And at the same time, you do not take responsibility for the things that are not yours. Alienation is not your fault. The other parent's behaviors are not your fault.

2. They maintained positive, non-resentful, unconditional feelings/emotions towards child

Oftentimes parents end up feeling resentful and angry with their child. They feel that as they get older, the child should know better. That they need to open their eyes and stop behaving the way they are. Unfortunately this behavior will 100% keep the child at bay. Cutoff parents must place full empathy onto the child for the situation they are in and understand that no matter how old they are, it doesn't mean they should 'know any better,' in fact it would be the opposite the more time goes on. Reunited parents also took back their power as parent and found the boundary. Parental unconditional love means without bounds, and it means embracing your role as that parent. We love our children no matter what, even if they are rejecting. Being unconditionally loving keeps the door open for reunification, and this is exactly what reunited parents maintained for their child.

4. They acknowledged they needed support

Being human is knowing we are imperfect and that we need support along the way in life. Even the most seasoned and experienced parents in the world need support. No one has a manual for what life throws at them, including parent-child cutoffs. Those parents who eventually reunited with their children all eventually came to terms with the fact that their situation was bigger than them. They recognized that they needed support, some sort of direction. They may have gone through several 'therapists' who also weren't specialized in this area, they may have been on the wrong path, working against them or for years without action. At the end of the day, they all got to a place of understanding the urgency of seeking the right support and they found a way to do so. At CCPI, we acknowledge everything that is at stake. They released all barriers to reunification.

5. They never gave up (including post reunification...)

Reunited parents never gave up on their child. They knew the relationship they once had, they knew what they were subjected to, they knew the damage a false narrative have caused on the child, and they knew that they had to stay the course for the sake of their child. They knew that it would be possible, and so they made it so. This also included continuing the work after reuniting, that things do not just magically become butterflies and rainbows. They still are working on repairing the relationship, so they continue to learn and implement the skills. Oftentimes they may work on Higher Purpose Parenting again, or go deeper within with Higher Purpose Mastery.

When it comes down to it, while each family will be slightly different when there is a parent-child cutoff, these are the top 5 things each formerly-alienated parent did to reunite per the guidance of Dorcy's expertise and experience.