September 18

10 Questions to Ask An Attorney and Why They Matter


Before you ever meet with an attorney it is best to go into your first meeting prepared with your defense. Do not rely on your attorney to provide this for you. Remember it is your relationship and your time with your child it is most important to you.

There are some very important questions to ask your attorney before you have them represent you.

a. What does “In the best interest of the child” mean to you?

b. If I can prove to you that I have been falsely accused of abuse what will you do to defend my case and why?

c. What do you know about the judge hearing my custody case and how does he view “Parental Alienation?”

d. What do you know about “Parental Alienation” and how do you feel about it?

e. Have you ever used it as a defense in a custody case and was it effective?

f. If you don’t feel that “Parental Alienation” terminology can be used in family court, yet you believe that this phenomenon happens, how would you defend this type of case instead? How would you feel if I were to provide you with the tools needed to defend my position?

g. I understand that I am hiring you to defend me in court and to arrange custody that is not only suitable for me but more importantly what is best for my child, how comfortable are you with presenting in court the provable, detailed chronology proving that my ex has charged me with false allegations of abuse to denigrate me and destroy my relationship with my child?

h. I know that there will be witnesses provided on both sides. How detailed are you at following up with those depositions and affidavits to be sure that no stone goes unturned? Using all of our assets to provide the best outcome possible.

i. Since we all know that legal fees in custody and divorce cases can get very high,  what type of policy or guarantee can you give me if I am providing you with all of the tools you need upfront to effectively defend and protect me and my child in court to keep my fees as low as possible?

j. Lastly, as you can see my time with my child is important to me to ensure that my child has a healthy loving relationship with both of his/her parents. I am doing everything that I can to be sure that I have a productive day in court and to ensure that I am heard and that we are successful. It is not as important for me to be right, as is it for me to be successful. I want to be sure that we are in agreement on this and that we are both of the same understanding of what this means. I understand that family court has run the same way for many years and so many families fall victim to the system and I do not want to be one of these families. I understand that I can’t control the behavior of an ex but I can control how we approach this judge and this court. I want to be sure that when a custody arrangement has been put in place by the judge that if the arrangements are broken by my ex that there are enforceable consequences so that time does not pass and continued denigration happens and I and do not see my child. What actions are you prepared to take on my behalf to ensure that consequences are enforced and that I see my child?

Once you are comfortable with the outcome of these questions you a ready to hire your attorney and get them prepared for your case. This is your life and your relationship with your children. It is most important to you so, therefore, it is most important that YOU prepare your legal team.

For additional strategies and to go deeper into your personal case check out the Custody Resolution Method 



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  1. This information is very informative, my daughter is being alienated from me and would also like to take any co and/or parenting course to resolve the ongoing matters.

  2. It really helped when you talked about divorce lawyers and how to assess one before hiring one. Recently, my cousin said she wants to file for a divorce, but she's worried about her son's custody. I believe my cousin should consult a lawyer as soon as possible, so I'll use your guide to help her find one. Thanks for the advice on how to interview a lawyer.

  3. Can you guys consult with my attorney?? I feel like he’s great and all but still not quite getting it. I’ve been at this for a long time don’t want a new attorney but also don’t want to be stuck in court. it’s exhausting and financially draining.

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