October 26

Communicating with an Alienated Child


Communicating with an alienated child can be one of the most challenging aspects of the reunification process. Whether in active communication, one-way communication, or blocked, in this blog post we'll explore effective strategies for engaging with your child, even when faced with silence or hostility. There are many components to communicating with your alienated child:

  • Understanding the Child's Perspective: Before you can effectively communicate, it's crucial to empathize with your child's emotions. Understand that what they are feeling is not their fault. Remind yourself not to be resentful. Lead with love and only love. 
  • Patience and Persistence: Communicating with an alienated child is not a one-time effort. It may take time to break through their emotional barriers. Be patient and persistent, even if your initial attempts are met with resistance.
  • Start with a Neutral Ground: Begin your communication on neutral or non-confrontational topics. Talk about shared interests, hobbies, or subjects unrelated to the alienation or family disputes. This allows your child to open up gradually without feeling pressured.
  • Avoid Criticism and Blame: Avoid placing blame or criticizing the other parent, as this can exacerbate the alienation. Focus on creating a safe space where your child feels heard and valued.
  • Be an Unconditional Source of Love: Regardless of your child's behavior, reaffirm your love and commitment to them. Let them know that your love is unwavering and that you are always there for them.
  • Work Towards Reunification: Communicating with your child is not the only way to reunification. It is simply part of the process. You want to make sure you are also focusing on outside factors as well. If you're dealing with a custody battle, make sure to prioritize your strategy and preparation. Learn how to communicate with your co-parent (pause before responding, learn your triggers, conscious responses, etc), so you can do your part to mitigate conflict, that indirectly affects your child. 

Communicating effectively with an alienated child who is unresponsive or hostile is undoubtedly challenging, but it's not impossible. Dorcy will go even deeper with precise communication threads and strategies to navigate, during her upcoming Communication for Reunification workshop on November 15-17. For only $97, you will learn effective strategies that will help build the bridge with your child. She will even choose a few participants to do a live role-play exercise. Learn more + secure a limited spot right here.


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