December 11

Reunification Roadmap: Step 2 – Emotional Regulator


The pain you feel from being cutoff from your child is felt.

Nothing can take that pain away from you, or numb it out.

What can be done about it, however, is shifting the pain. 

Instead of wasting days slumped over, turn that pain into motivation to make a change. You can’t get your kid back being slumped over, and you can’t get your kid back when your mind is an emotional tornado. 

They need a strong, empowered, dedicated parent. 

The roadmap to reunification includes a critical stage of just this. Regulating your emotions, so you can become the soft place for your child to land.

A stage that cannot be overlooked. If you aren’t sure, take a look at what it would look like for you to regulate your emotions, and the positive impact it would have on reunification:

Better sense of self

When you learn to come out from under the rubble of emotions, the possibilities are endless. You will feel better, so you will do better. You will decide to no longer let the pain get the best of you, or else it will take over you. You realize that in order to be there for your child the way they need, you have to be strong. 

Confidence + empowerment

You can’t be both in emotional disarray, and empowered. They negate one another. When you regulate those emotions, you are more likely to take action, and proactive action at that. You are able to be confident in how you show up with your child (either in the present moment if applicable or in the future when you achieve contact) and possibly your coparent. If your emotions aren’t regulated, you cannot show up in good consciousness. You will react based off your triggers, contribute to chaos rather than mitigate it, and you will stay stuck. When you regulate your emotions, you will confidently know when to use the magical NRN (no response needed), how to respond to pathology, how to create healthy boundaries, how to articulate emotions and feelings, and the list goes on.

It may seem like a counterintuitive strategy, so shift pain and regulate painful emotions when this is one of the most heart wrenching things a person can experience. And, that is precisely why. You will give up if you let yourself, and you will lose sight of what matters most: your child. So, to get started, we’ve sampled a process for you, right here.


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  1. Thank you. It’s been really hard and I have definitely considering giving up. This has been helpful and I feel a bit hopeful again.

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