June 12

Don’t Forget to Recover Yourself, Too


Being cut off from a child, dealing with a complex co-parenting dynamic, being in a custody battle or litigation, and trying to keep your head afloat while dealing with general life stressors – can be overbearing (and even damaging) if you let it be.

Parents cut off from a child, and parents with abused children, have a goal of recovering their child, of course. And yet, they often forget that they themselves need recovery, too. Without personal recovery from trauma, there are everlasting effects. Check out this separate article here. Here is how you can also prioritize your recovery. 

  1. Forgive yourself, and others.
  2. Understand that if we don’t fill our own cups, we cannot fill the cups of others.
  3. Start prioritizing one-on-one, self-care time each day. Set aside a designated time to do so. 
  4. When you get upset, triggered, the like: ask yourself questions. Critically engage with yourself to dig deeper within.
  5. Uncover what obstacles are holding you stuck, so you get one step closer to overcoming those obstacles.
  6. Seek support to help you heal specific wounds.
  7. Remind yourself what your long-term goals are, and ask yourself what you are doing now to get there.
  8. Have a conversation with your ‘childhood self.’ What would you tell him/her to reassure they are loved, supported, and deserving of all things?
  9. Know that if you put your mind to it, anything is possible. Think back to another challenging time in life that you overcame. 
  10. Learn to cut negative thinking off. 

While there is no magic pill to recover from pain and trauma, it is always possible, and the rewards are always worth it. To see how, get started with our (free) mini-course, Tame the Pani 101. Click right here to begin.


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